Oh one more thing real quick.
Do you know how stupid it is to wear a red tee-shirt for AIDS day or to wear a pink one for breast cancer. You are not doing anything by putting on something you bought at AE for one day and never thinking about it again.
I'm sorry, but unless your halter starts talking and doing math it will not find a cure for a deadly infecious disease.
Jesus Christ.

Sorry I just got an e-mail and needed to vent.
Now I'm going to be late for class.

Slow Down You Move too Fast

Man, I have been busy lately. In high school I tried really hard to get my picture in the dictionary next to the word slacker; I skipped class, I made fun of all the "involved" kids, I went to the nurses office and took a nap during prayer services I was determined not to do anything. It was really nice.

When I pictured college I basically figured I would go to class twice a week and get shitfaced in my enormous dorm room for the rest of the time. I thought professors would wear tweed and speak in British accents. I did not plan on having only a coulple of hours a day stopping thinking while watching My Super Sweet 16. I blame Ryan Reynolds for this, that movie lied to me.

When I finally came to college, armed with 4 bottles of Grocery Store vodka hidden in my pillow cases, I was shocked when I actually had to figure out what the hell I wanted to do with my life.
I had to start thinking about resumes and volunteer hours and awards. My life became filled with meetings and how many meetings I had basically validated how good a job I was doing at being "super college chick." Is this just me? Did I suddenly become some supper compulsive type A personality?

What happened to getting drunk on a Monday?
I need to take that back.
I think I am going to.

I wish I was A rock star

I bought this book off of Amazon for 10 dollars!
I'm pretty excited to read it (because I have no life and am a large dork).
Wanna know something else weird about me? Whenever I get a book I have to read it super fast because I have this huge fear that while in the middle of a book I'll be in a horrendous car crash, or a building will collapse on me, or I'll be a victim of some germ warfare attack and a couple of days after my death somebody will be shuffling through my stuff and find my book with only 20 pages read and think "she never even got to find out what happened" that is just too sad for me to imagine, so I try to read my books quickly or I avoid traveling long distances for a while.

In other news my mom is coming up on Saturday so that will be nice. And after she goes back to Cleveland Jessie's mom and Aunt Linda are coming up you know what that means-Party at the Day's Inn!

It's all very exciting.

I have no idea how this is legal but it is AMAZING.
More soon.

Another reason that I will never again get on an airplane.

My favorite afternoon

Today I discovered something new to have a love affair with, and that something is the Grounds for Thought coffee shop/bookstore.
I regret not finding this place in my freshman year, but honestly the only other time I have visited to the coffee shop was for an interview with an attractive frat guy for a Gavel article. On my first visit I wandered around downtown BG for 15 minutes before the Frat guy had to identify me by my neon-colored vest and direct me in the right direction. When we finaly met I was not prepared and I stuttered. Needless to say, after the interview I ran out of that place quick.
I never got to linger.
Today though- I went on a tour of BG and found the store again.
This is the type of bookstore that I have only seen in movies and imagined in books, it is like an old fashioned barber shop, I have always known that they existed, passed them on the street every so often but never actually been inside one.
Let me just say that I love this store; it is packed with books I have never heard of which are arranged in no coherent order. Unlike the Books-A-Million you can read for hours and drink coffee and not feel rushed, there are no pushy sales clerks asking if you need any help finding something, no packs of pre-teens giggling and reading latest teen-beat magazine.

There are boxes full of books that you have to lean over to reach what you want. There are cooking books from 1937. There are paperback romance novels that will make your grandma blush. Books from 1797. I had a major nerd erection.
After about an hour of drooling I found a book and took a seat in the children's section in a chair that was about a foot off of the ground and which my ass was clearly too wide for.
I think I spent about 2 hours here just by myself, and for a dollar fifty for the green tea and 67 cents for the book I had the best 2 dollar afternoon.

Thank you BG tourism.

Weekend Update: Minus the crappy political humor

Last night I followed the advice of many IMDB message board writers and decided to cancel my plans to see Stop The Yard, to see Children Of Men. I guess I made the right decision (but I have to admit I do love the Stomp)
The movie was excellent , and the last half hour or so felt like it was all on one continuous shot. Beautiful.
The movie also re-awakened my love for Clive Owen.
Ahh yes. I have an unhealthy relationship with Clive Owen. I will watch anything he is in, I will look up interviews on youtube and I think he has the prettiest and clearest American accent in the world.
Owen is joined by Sam Rockwell and Kevin Spacy in Theresa's odd obsessions list. I am sure that when guys find me in the bushes behind the pool house I will not be asked to join them in making a movie. I'm pretty serious about this, I will happily sit through 2 hours of The Ref just because Kevin Spacy is in it. If I ever move to southern California it will become my life's mission to hunt these men down and have steamy affairs with them. And I wouldn't be doing it just because I know they would shower me with gifts and buy me a new pair of tits. No, this is real love would be real love.

I know I don't get it either.

I don't know what's stranger that ^ obsession or this picture of John Edwards circa 1970 something. I mean GOD DAMN.

Help a sister Out?

I'm looking for some good cover songs.
Any suggestions?

The End of The World: Ongoing Coverage

Back From Class Now, let's pick up where we left off.

A review of the facts.

Fact 1- The world is defiantly ending by 2012.

Fact 2- Stephen Hawking gives us five minutes to live.

Fact 3- I need to ride a horse.

Fact 4- I will definitely die a virgin.

Got it? Good. Now as I was sitting in East hall today, reading WWI poetry it occurred to me that back in the day the human race were tough sons of bitches, but thanks to Sonic, electric cars, and Bob Dylan we have defiantly all become giant pussies. If the world does self destruct we will need to acquire some common survival skills.
So part two of the fantastic lists this afternoon is: How to toughen up.

1. Learn how to whittle, once china and Vietnam are 25 feet underwater we are going to be responsible for our own shoe making, so let's buy some paint and glaze and take a trip to Amsterdam we'll need the practice.

2. Learn how to assemble a rifle out of a pen cap and plastic casing. This will come in handy when asshole kids start syphoning gas out of your pick up.

3. Learn how to harpoon a fish with your Swiss army knife and some sticks.

4. Start a storage cellar full of e-z cheese. Not only will this be a useful source of dairy after the apocalypse , you could then weld the cans into a functional shelter/raft.

5. Learn how to weld.

As I have mentioned before the world is about to go down. Well thanks to Stephen Hawking my prophecy is being fulfilled. The doomsday clock, the coolest union of science and a giant clock since Doc Brown dangled from one to send a young teen back to the future, has been moved to 5 till midnight.

That's right brothers and sisters the end is a'comin! For me the end of the world could not have come at more inconvenient time; I'm still young, I've only been out of Ohio twice and I haven't even gotten laid yet. I don't think I need to tell you that this whole end of the world thing is very discouraging.

I feel like the best way to solve this problem is to devote the rest of my life on earth to making a kick ass list.

Before I die...

1. I will ride a horse. The closest I have ever come to riding a horse was riding a pony at the OLA church fair when I was 5. The circle it walked around in smelled like shit and I almost fell off due to an incompetent/drunken carny at the gate. I resolve to ride a horse in the next five years, plus I think it will become a necessary skill when we run out of gas and start looting.

That's it for now. It's an ongoing segment.
Plus I have to go to class.

Before you get yourself invested.



I meet a lot of people. I have met my friends at parties, in class, though various sorority functions, needless to say my facebook friends are pushing the 200 mark. While I was looking at all the faces on my facebook one day I began to wonder, "how many of these people would be my friend if they really knew what a freak I am?"

Now I know what you are thinking, "But Theresa you are amazing! Who would not eat broken glass to be your friend?" And I know, I wonder the same thing sometimes but I still cannot tell you how many times I have gotten a "What the hell is wrong with you look" while sitting with a group of my followers. Apparently it takes people a little while to realize that I am indeed a freak.

So I wanted to clear the air, to get a few things out into the open, so you really know what you are getting yourself into if you accept my friendship.

Don't ever say I didn't warn you.


4 Reasons Not To Be My Friend

1. I pluck my leg hair. Now this is a really weird one, but I often find myself sitting by the TV zoning out and just like some people do to their eyebrows I pluck my leg hair. It's true. Between shaves I go patch by patch until little sections of my leg are hair free. I often attribute this to the OCD that runs around like a cold in my family but once I pick up those tweezers you might as well not talk to me for at least a half hour. It is taking all of my willpower right now to not run to the bathroom and get my tweazerman tweezers for a day of fun. MMMMMM.

2. I will eat your food. Have ever been out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, such as the upscale Olive Garden, and been peacefuly eating your meal when somebody just reaches right across the table and picks a ravioli off of your plate and into his or her mouth? Annoying? Well I am that person. This food picking problem of mine is another uncontrolable urge for me. I will pick at anybodies' food, you have a bag of chips my hand is going in there, a sandwich? I will open it up and take out a piece of turkey. If you have a plate of cookies I will break one in half, eat that half and leave the other one to go stale on the plate. And don't even try to bring ice cream around me.

3. I am a dude. It's true, I proably have more testosterone floating around in me than your Uncle Chuck. I have my own cigarette rolling machine which leaves my fingers dry and a little yellow. I don't like "cocktails." Bruce Willis is my favorite action hero and when I was a young girl (no kidding) I strove to be just like him. I know more about the Corleone family than my unemployed father who divides his time pretty evenly between CNN and Spike TV. And I swear if I had balls I would be constantly adjusting them.

4.I burp when I get nervous. This has been going on for about 5 years now, whenever I get nervous (and that tends to happen a lot, I have a slight 1980s Woody Allen thing going on) I start to burp. And I don't mean little polite burps, I'm talking about long loud hollow burps. I could probably burp the abc's on a really good day. The worst thing about these things is I never know how long they're going to last it could be three minutes to three hours on any given day. Could you imagine sitting next to me during The Departed while listening to me quietly burp the entire time? Pretty disgusting.

So now you know. After this post I doubt I will have any actual friends left so if you excuse me I am going to go look for a shack, which I can begining filling up with a bunch of cats as soon as possible. Because nobody wants to die alone.

Welcome Back!

I have to say that this weekend was the best weekend in Bowling Green history.
Friday Jessie Jess, Natalie, Dave, Elecia, and Amber had a faux New Years eve party, noise makers, party hats and Dick Clark all made appearances. It was a hoot.

Saturday we took a trip to Fort Wayne Indiana to eat our very first meal at Sonic Drive In. And let me just tell you that the commercials do not lie, it is delicious.
After the trip we came back and watched a documentary on the KKK. Then I think I met some members of the KKK who came to visit from the woods. Just kidding...I hope..
That was pretty much the weekend, I'm glad that we don't have any classes tomorrow.
See ya later folks.

Let's blow this joint soda.

Only one more day in Cleveland. I'm pretty much over it; I didn't take any advantage of coming home this break. I didn't go downtown or do anything of worth but i did manage to read the first two chapters of about 7 really pretentious and important sounding books.

I leave this city not only 7(!!) books smarter but also thankful for a year filled with comedy.

2006 is over and I hope you all, or the two people who read this blog (hi mom!), had a nice new year. It’s been almost a week into the new year and as we look back, if you haven’t already, let’s thank 2006 for all the laughs and hope that 2007 is filled with much of the same.